But Maybe I ain’t . . .

When you were here before,
Couldn’t look you in the eye
You’re just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You’re so very special

But I’m a creep,
I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doin’ here?
I don’t belong here

(Radiohead – Creep)

i’m here, i’m someone, and i’m nobody.. do you think so?

a lot of thing happen with all my own mistakes and wronged directions, i’ve done too many things that ain’t right, don’t you agree? a lot of things happend in this life, or maybe just my own life? sometimes i think i ain’t a nice or even good man, so i’ve always tryin’ to be the mr nice guy, but now? failed? maybe..

do you think so?

i always thinkin’ it my own way, but maybe it ain’t suits you at all.

i’ve tryin’ my best to help you, but maybe i ain’t helpful at all.

i’ve tryin’ to support you, but maybe i ain’t there at all.

i though we have a great friendship, or maybe i ain’t your friend at all?

do you think so?

i never meant to hurt you at any kind of ways, but maybe i’ve done a lot of bad things to you at front or even at back, i’ve been tryin’ to be a better friend for you, follow you, escort you, back you up, or even as your shoulder to cry on, sometimes i think i succeeded, but sometimes i don’t.

i don’t know what happed, just think we’re not like we used to be, or maybe i’m just too emotional?

do you think so?

i’ve done my part which maybe it ain’t supportive enough, i’ve told you so many times about my range of tolerance, and maybe this is the time that i have to say that i’m your friend, and i always think that you are my best friend, i can’t see you this way, i want you better way and i know you’re capable.

but at many ways.. that’s your own life.. all that i can do is to remind and warn you.. i know you know that i can not always be there for you.. but at may other ways.. you know where to find me..

don’t you? hm . . . but maybe i ain’t . . .

By Alit Mahendra Bramantya

Complicatedly simple, not just another internet presence enthusiast. Currently managing Research (including Analytics) Division at Think.Web with Web App Development and Digital Analytics as main responsibility. Views are my own.


  1. sometimes, people just have to go their separate ways. doesn’t mean that they can’t bumped into each other again somewhere, in the a future yet unseen.

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